is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
