just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
