If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
