Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
