Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
