Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
