So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
