i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
it's like iHOP with fire
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
