2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
