pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
