I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
