TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
