Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
