It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
