Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
