Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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