in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
