I accidentally had phone sex last night
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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