He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
