we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
