his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
