We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
