so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
