Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
