Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
