he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Of course I have a pirate flag
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
