oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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