my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
