Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize