so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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