Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
