On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
