Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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