whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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