I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just want nice things and good sex
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
