My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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