I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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