In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
