That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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