Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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