I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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