Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
