The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
