i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
