every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
you never un-have a 4some
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
