Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just gift wrapped bread.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Randomize