I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize