So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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