i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Randomize
