I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
