So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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