its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
