I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
