i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
