does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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