i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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