So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
two words...techno handjob
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
