Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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