She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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