its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
