My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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