I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
