It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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