I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize