did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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