I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
