stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
